http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/D/DEAD_VOTERS?SITE=WIJAN&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT It is one day before the election, and I am just getting around to truly looking at the story behind a headline that caught my eye. It appears that an elderly woman has died two days after casting her vote early for the upcoming presidential election. The question on everyone's mind is, of course, should the vote be counted? Now, I am not looking at this from a political point of view. On the...

http://www.teamindia.net/index.php?action=fullnews&id=32471 "A sex-starved husband in China dialed the emergency number 999 because his wife refused to have sex with him." I don't even think I need to elaborate on this. You all can just read the line, check out the article, and leave a comment. However, this is a fantastic new attempted solution to an age old problem...

So I'm doing my daily review of the news and I come across this: http://www.denverpost.com/Stories/0,1413,36~64~2488266,00.html Now I know no one is actually going to go to the link, so here's the gist of it. Apparently, there are Kerry supporters calling the families of soldiers and telling them their loved ones are dead. When the families say their loved ones are alive, the caller says that if they want them to stay that way, they should vote for Kerry. This is the most disgusti...

It seems that my "Boy Scout" article has created quite a stir, and although I will continue to bring up serious matters, I think it is time that I reminded all of us why this is called "Absurdity in Action." On Tuesday of last week, I awoke at nine in the morning, got on the el and set off for another productive day at school. Except that the class I have at ten in the morning on Tuesdays is Earth Sciences. I understand that, at this point, there is nothing uncharacteristicly strange about...

So I'm wasting some time online and I come across this: http://www.sportsmansguide.com/cb/cb.asp?a=161971 For those of you too lazy to check out the link, it is a page that is offering a nice grenade launcher for sale. Normally, this would not catch my eye, since large explosive launchers are not what I normally associate myself with. Except that this is for sale on SPORTSMANSGUIDE.COM! What sportsman needs a grenade launcher? Have the deer evolved and become made of titanium? Have t...

So its 2AM and I'm just reading some random news stories before going to bed and I come across this and I have to vent somewhere. The Boy Scouts of America have kicked a retarded boy out of his troop, citing that his behavior endangers him and others or some such bull like that. The great thing is that, as a private organization, the Boy Scouts have the right to exclude whoever they want. And I'm not saying they shouldn't have that right. The right to be stupid is what makes this countr...

Just very briefly: There is a law in Rome that fines local Romans for pointing out the sites to tourists. This, apparently, is to protect "professional" tour guides, who have to sit for an exam. And the world continues to be shocked at why people aren't friendlier with one another?

Any day now, the National Parks Service will release a book contradicting the widely accepted theory that the Grand Canyon was created by years and years of painstaking work on the part of running water. The book will, instead, claim that the canyon was carved out by Noah's Flood. This recent revelation has led to considerable rage on the part of certain scientific individuals, who claim the government should not support this "Creationist" account of the origin of the Grand Canyon. A c...

It is 11:30 PM, and having just finished watching the Red Sox put the Yankees in their place to force a Game 7 of the ALCS, I relax on my bed to watch the delayed beginning of my local news. As the portion of the program dealing with health comes to a close, the male anchor turns to the camera and utters two sentences about the shortage of the flu vaccine and how it is affecting politicians. Namely, that it isn't. Apparently, politicians are at a higher risk for contracting the flu because...

Lost among the daily political badgering and GWB's Freudian assurance of an all-conscripted military, there are certain lesser issues that go unnoticed by the nation. Let's begin with health insurance. I have for a long time attempted to find a proper analogy to represent the deplorable state of health insurance in the United States. I mean, having the best doctors and the top technology is all fine and good, but fairly useless if I need to donate a kidney to pay for the broken arm I happ...

Coming into this week, I expected my first posting to be nothing more than an inane and boring introduction. As luck would have it, however, the hands of fate have provided me with the opportunity to witness one of the most annoying instances of vehicular idiosyncrasy that I have ever seen. I was driving around my block, vainly hoping (stupid, I know) that there would be a parking space within walking distance of my front door. For those of you that do not live in my neighborhood, let me p...