Link Alright, so the gist of the link: Alderman Darrell Leftwich thinks that soccer should be banned in White House Municipal Park on Sunday mornings because it happens to coincide with the time church services take place. I don't even think I have to elaborate about why this is a problem. The alderman feels that the seventh day is a day of rest and worship, and should be spent as such. A friendly dissenting alderman points out in the article that the seventh day is actually Satur...

I'm watching the news. I'm seeing New Orleans. I'm seeing volunteers passing out food and water and offering medical help. I'm seeing people smile and wave and be grateful. I'm seeing relief workers sharing meals with lost dogs. I'm seeing men and women who were hurt while venturing out into contaminated water to check on their elderly neighbors. I'm seeing concerned citizens directing doctors to homes of people who may be hurt, and who for some reason or another can't venture out of their...

Link Well, I've been gone for awhile, but here now I do make my glorious return. (cue fanfare and adoring throngs) It appears that South African inventors have come up with the "Rapex." No, it's not an aerosol spray that kills rapists on contact. Those are still called guns. What it is is a device that is inserted by a woman into the vagina if she senses she might be raped. If someone does attempt to rape her, the device effectively clamps onto the offenders penis and requires hosp...

Link George W. Bush has signed into law a bill that would create an electronic monitoring system to prevent the abuse of prescription drugs. Do you hear that folks? No? Here, quiet down. Listen again...there in the distance. Do you hear it? Rush Limbaugh weeps. (HA! Sometimes Philomedy cracks himself up!) Anyways, back on a serious note: While I support the attempt to crack down on prescription drug abuse, there is a part of this bill that makes no sense to me. There is no part...

I was watching the news last night. Their top story was about a 21 year old soldier from Indiana, Specialist Adam Harting, already on his third tour of duty, who was killed when a roadside bomb exploded. Lost in the background of the coverage of this man's funeral, and of the town that turned out in its entirety to mourn him, was a group of people holding up large, colorful signs and parading back and forth across the sidewalk. I thought, "What bad timing for those picketers, couldn't they...

I saw a quote a little while back, and while I cannot remember where I saw it, and so cannot name my source, the quote has stuck with me. It really doesn't need any explanation, so i'll just hit y'all with it here: Attention Muslims: Watch out...Your religion is being hijacked by dangerous extremists. Attention Christians: Ditto.

Let me go ahead and say, first and foremost, that this article is not about the president's speech last night, because I did not watch the president's speech last night. The title was simply a brilliant little ploy on my part to get you all here. As I write this, however, I can't help but make one little point about the speech, the contents of which I've managed to gather from various front page headlines: Was everyone really that shocked that the man is still connecting 9/11 to Iraq? Com...

Link By now, I think we've all heard of the Supreme Court's genius decision that your property isn't actually yours. I believe their next goal is to rewrite the definition of the words "your," "my," and "ours," so that their decision won't leave them as nothing more than a contradiction to the English language. Anyways, I'd like to use my time here to tell the story of a hero. This hero's name is Logan Darrow Clements. The honorable Mr. Clements is the CEO of Freestar Media, LCC, a...

Alright, so we know Jerry Falwell, he of the raving lunacy? Good. We know the American Family Association, it of non-spongebob fame? Good. They've both lost it. Falwell I won't really elaborate on because he's pretty much lost all credibility with me after "Spongebob is gay", but long story short he wants you to boycott Kraft for sponsoring the Gay Games. I'm sure the AFA wants you to do the same, although they aren't being so upfront. But anyways, let me hit y'all with a couple of number...

So you all know the AFA, right? We all love the AFA. They're those bastions of human decency that keep hyperventilating and yelling about "traditional values" going all to hell! We remember these folks now? Good. They have a new thing going. They're boycotting Ford. For supporting gay organizations. Go to www.boycottford.com. See for yourself. Here's the basic gist of the whole site: "Ford is evil and bad and stupid because Ford is donating x amount of dollars to organizations that supp...

Link Alright, we're in North Carolina, where a pastor at a Baptist church has told his congregation that he expects them to sign forms stating that they agree with his political and moral views. If not, they can kindly go worship somewhere else. After 9 parishioners walk out, the remainder of the congregation votes to expel them from the church entirely. This nation is so united, it almost brings a tear to your eye. The pastor says that he's going to give political sermons, and if ...

Link A woman at Wal-Mart had a dispute with two women, who happened to have a baby with them. This woman's daughter pepper sprayed the two women, and the woman then decided to pepper spray the 2 month old baby they had with them. Is it wrong of me to want this woman strapped to a pole while everyone who wants has a turn with a whip? Is it wrong to want her tied to an operation table with her eyes held open while 100 elephant sized cans of pepper spray are emptied consecutively into h...

Link A man has been sentence to 45 days in jail, as well as ordered to pay a $150 fine and to serve 2 years' probation after making obscene gestures and obscene statements, nearly running down a Burger King employee, fighting with police, and kicking out the back window of a police cruiser. What, pray tell, made this man so angry? The Burger King employees informed him that they were out of fries and onion rings. Aside from the obvious questions that go through my head, such as h...