Published on February 27, 2005 By philomedy In Current Events
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Allow me to present the gist of this article in lighthearted, dialogue form:

UNITED STATES: We want you to join us in a program we want to start whereby we shoot down missiles that come hurtling
towards us.
CANADA: No.
UNITED STATES: Fair enough. I guess it's just us deciding to shoot missiles down then.
CANADA: Oh, by the way, if there is a missile in Canadian airspace, you have to have our permission to shoot it down.
UNITED STATES: Come again?
CANADA: Well, you can't violate a sovereign nation's airspace, so you have to call us and ask if you want to shoot a missile down
over Canadian airspace.
UNITED STATES: What if the missile is coming towards us?
CANADA: Did we stutter?
UNITED STATES: Uh....huh.

(insert applause here)

(insert curtain call here)

This performance was presented, written, directed, and performed by Philomedy.


Comments (Page 1)
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on Feb 27, 2005
Shoot it down first and beg forgiveness later I suppose....
on Feb 27, 2005
I guess if you take the "appeasement" stance, and degrade yourself in the process, it would suck to STILL have debris rain down on you. To me, this is like saying, "Hey, we have done our bit and wussed out so that the world will leave us alone, don't drag us into anything and make it all for naught..."

Screw them. Blue. If something is hurtling toward the US, I would much rather apologize profusely than sacrifice thousands of Americans for the sake of their soveriegn airspace.
on Feb 27, 2005
I'm sure it should matter what the Canadian goverment thinks. But in as a practical matter, it really doesn't.
on Feb 27, 2005
We won't be violating a sovereign nation's airspace from orbit.

Have a nice French Quebecer day
on Feb 27, 2005
Screw them. Blue. If something is hurtling toward the US, I would much rather apologize profusely than sacrifice thousands of Americans for the sake of their soveriegn airspace


And just why should we apologise in the first place?
Canada has been and will continue to be a leach on US military budgets!

By the way if the incoming missle is an ICBM for instance, umm if we didnt shoot it down, and it detonated, then Canada would become in all likelyhood partially contaminated via nuclear fallout.
on Feb 27, 2005
This is something I should have on my show.... Canada wants protection, but reminds the US that it is really just a really big US state... such that you can shoot down missiles over our airspace (especially if its heading toward us)
on Feb 28, 2005
I wonder something... If we did "violate" Canadian airspace by shooting at the ICBM, which violation would they whine about the most. Ours for shooting down the missile, or whoever fired the missile through their airspace in the first place? ;~D
on Feb 28, 2005
Aww heck lets just make the whole world American. Another countries airspace? pfft, who cares about that.
btw mexico if you ever send a borrito bomb missile in to us airspace to shoot down an enemy taco teaser missile, we'll kick your asses - i mean, c'mon now, you cant invade another countries airspace Mexico.
on Feb 28, 2005

if yall aren't gonna support my efforts to become sultan of brunei, don't come cryin to me when you need a loan and i'm one of the richest men in the world.

i expect to take the throne about the same time one of them starwars missles actually destroys something besides its projected cost of implementation.

on Feb 28, 2005
The star wars program is a joke. It costs the US taxpayer billions, and it cannot even knock down a missle in tests when it knows where it will be and when it's coming. So far, this program is a failure. And a massive drain on the US economy, as well.

As for what Canada may be saying....... likely they're just taking a stance, using the air space issue, that they will have nothing to do with this US fiasco. If a missile comes hurtling towards Canada, or the US, we're all SOL, whether we have star wars or not. I wouldn't be surprised if the anti missile does more, or additional damage than the missile it was supposed to take down.

But, I guess it is hugely successful on some counts. I bet some military contractors and their investors (ie halliburton and Uncle Buck) are likely making a ton of money off the star wars program.
on Feb 28, 2005
It's amazing how a background in - what is it exactly, landscaping? - can grant someone like Dabe the knowledge in, for lack of better term, rocket science and gives her insight into the innermost practices of defense industries.

Here's a clue, Dabe. When you don't know what the hell you're talking about, don't comment.
on Feb 28, 2005
On behalf of all Canadians I'd like to thank the American taxpayer (well, I should be thanking China for fronting the Bankrupt States of America the cash, but that's another matter) for paying for the missle defense shield that protects my country. I enjoy the free medicare that this scam brings me; I'm happy it's you, not me, who pays for this.

Seriously, the missle defense thingie is a complicated issue (does it even work, and would you want YOUR foreign policy tied to the rogue state Americans?), and I think our Prime Minister Dithers made the wrong call. It's all academic anyway; no one is going to ICBM Canada, and America isn't going to ask permission to (hypothetically) shoot down (hypothetical) missles, nor should they. So why all the hubub?

Draginol - 'I'm sure it should matter what the Canadian goverment thinks. But in as a practical matter, it really doesn't.' You keep repeating how irrelevant Canada is, yet never miss an opportunity to comment on Canuck matters - and feature them on the front page. Why so bitter towards Canada? Is it because Ontario now produces more vehicles than 'Old America' Michigan? Or because we're getting the biggest free ride in history on your tax dollars? Whatever, just keep strokin' those six figure tax checks, I'm sure the governement is spending your cash wisely, both at home and in Iraq.

LW - ' What would really be cool is if we uhmm, missed......(on the first shot, at least) and took out....lets say....Quebec!' Mais non, mon cheri....Quebec supplies a large portion of New York state's electricity; your country would screech to a halt if somehow those transmission lines were somehow jeopardized...hmmmm. En tous cas, another crack like that and the eastern seaboard can freeze in the dark, mmmmkay?

David St. Hubbins
on Feb 28, 2005
I think Draginol likes to talk about Canada because he lives only a few miles from the border. To most Americans, especially ones who live near the border, Canada is like a series of backwater US states except with an attitude. As for Draginol's 6-figure tax checks, you do realize that that means he also made at least 6-digits. I'm sure he's really crying about that..
on Feb 28, 2005
The star wars program is a joke. It costs the US taxpayer billions, and it cannot even knock down a missle in tests when it knows where it will be and when it's coming. So far, this program is a failure. And a massive drain on the US economy, as well.


So, if we listened to this attitude after Prs. Kennedy announced his dream to put a man on the moon, how close to the moon would we have come?

When Prs. Kennedy made his announcement, the technology to do such a thing did not exist. How many tests failed before a rocket was even put into orbit? How much money went into research, developement and training before it actually happened?

But we did get a man on the moon, didn't we. I can't think of any government program that has returned more technology, scientific research and added to our economy as much as the space program. However, then as well as today, it has its naysayers and detractors.

SDI may have a long way to go, and it definitely has its drawbacks at this point, however what engineers and others are learning from the "failures" is already improving our technology in lasers, radar, guidance and other technologies.

In medicine, we often kill a few thousand people and spend millions before we "learn" what not to do anymore. I guess, using this logic, we should completely stop trying.
on Feb 28, 2005
Helix, the Bush admin has stated they will "protect" *all* of North America whether you, I, or the Canadian government likes it or not. Thus, your burnage is weak, dude, try again.

We are America's biggest oil supplier too, so your 'we don't need Canada' attitude is exactly 100% wrong. We've been exporting nuclear reactors around the world since the 50s, are the most educated people in the world (second richest too) and have good relations with virtually every country, so if we need to whip up a nuke I think we can manage. I hope this clears things up.

David St. Hubbins



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