Freedom vs. Tact
Published on June 25, 2005 By philomedy In Misc
In light of certain problems people have been having with Natalee Holloway and boy scouts from Utah and being blacklisted, I'd like to address what I believe is a bigger problem that underlies the superficial things that most of us have been arguing about: The difference between having the right to say something and actually saying it.

We live in a place where, thankfully, we reserve the right to say and write whatever we damn well please. Unfortunately, this creates a sense of entitlement in certain situations, and people sometimes start to believe that "having the right" can be equated with "being justified in..." This is not so.

As we have seen in recent articles, there has been an undue amount of criticism given to Natalee Holloway and the lost boy scout from Utah in an attempt to argue for personal responsibility. Now, let me just say that I am all for personal responsibility. I have ended countless articles with the phrase "Somewhere, personal responsibility sits crying in a corner." I believe very strongly in taking responsibility for one's actions. However, I cannot agree with the way that these articles have gone about arguing for what is, in all honesty, a very worthy position.

There is nothing good that can come of using tragedy, and berating those involved in tragedy, to advance the case for personal responsibility. In fact, using these sorts of techniques has the opposite effect. They weaken the position of personal responsibility because its advocate immediately speaks from a position of hostility, and thus demands a defensive and unreceptive audience.

To come back to my original point, all of the aforementioned problems stem from the perception that having the right to say what you wish justifies you saying what you wish. This is not so. No matter what one person has the right to do, no matter how many rights the Constitution gives you, there is nothing on paper that can dictate tact. That is up to each and every individual person, and it is that which defines whether or not one can make a successful point.

Of course you can say stuff about Natalee Holloway, but why would you? Her family and friends are in agony. Their lives are ruined. More than likely, hers has been ended. Why talk about her?

Of course you can say stuff about the boy scout from Utah, but why would you? Both he and his family have been traumatized, and gone through an ordeal that no one should have to face. Why not let them move on?

These aren't the only examples there are, either. I'm all for the second amendment. I will vote down with a vengeance any attempt to take away people's guns. But why did Charlton Heston have to hold NRA rallies shortly after school shootings, in the cities that those shootings happened in? The communities were scarred and in mourning. Was that the best time to come in shouting about how you love guns? No.

The case for personal responsibility is strong enough without bringing specific tragedies, and the victims of those tragedies, into an argument. There are millions of things you could use along with Natalee Holloway, but you don't. You could say it was Emmett Till's fault for not intimately knowing the social strata of the South. But you don't. You could say it was the Freedom Summer volunteer's fault for going where they weren't wanted. But you don't. You don't because you know it's not right to take their losses and use them to your argument's advantage.

Of course you have the right to say it. But you also have the right to not. And your better judgment would encourage you to do that.


Comments
on Jun 25, 2005
Ummm...thanks. Actually...I made the point that the media spends hours and hours on Natalle Holloway and not the other people that go missing everyday. They spend hours wondering where she is when there's a war going on. I made the point that the media likes to focus on people who are aesthetically pleasing versus those who might not be when it comes to kidnappings/violence/etc. Why did Scott and Laci Peterson get lots of coverage? They're gorgeous. Why did Dru Sjodin get lots of coverage? She's gorgeous. I don't think it's fair that the media assigns personal worth based on aesthetics...you know?

The more I thought about it...I put myself in the place of Natalee's mom's place...and you know what? I did say some things that came out wrong and I am sorry for that. If I had a daughter, and even if she'd been drunk off her behind, she doesn't deserve this...if she's dead or being held. I'm very impressed with the strength her family is showing right now. I think they're amazing and commend them.

So...I get it, okay?
on Jun 25, 2005
So...I get it, okay?


I know you get it. I read your exchange with Baker, and I'm glad the issue got resolved. This was written more in response to the other article about blacklisting those who you disagree with, as I'm still seeing constant jabs at both Natalee Holloway and the Utah boy scout in the responses.
on Jun 25, 2005

Excellent article.  Just a minor question. 

But why did Charlton Heston have to hold NRA rallies shortly after school shootings, in the cities that those shootings happened in?

I have not heard of this.  Can you give me more information?

Thanks. As always, another plus for Philo!

on Jun 25, 2005
Good article, Phil.

I never meant to imply that we can't learn from the mistakes of others, but it is a different thing to stand at a global pulpit like the Internet and teach the world based on a currently-suffering example. It's like walking up to a bloody car accident with a child, pointing in at the suffering people and saying "See, that's what happens when you drive carelessly.

There's a difference between talking to your kids about how they should be careful and using examples, and focusing ridicule on the suffering. I think you make a great point here. I have been a member of the NRA all my life, and I firmly disagreed with them using the communities of the towns you mentioned as a soapbox.

Unforunately, the gun control lobby does the same thing in the wake of every such tragedy, villifying the parents of the kids to a degree that also becomes abusive. Neither side should do so, but should be respectful and not take advantage of people's suffering.

P.S.

Marcie: Your post was one of THOUSANDS criticizing the coverage of the N.H. disappearance and using her possible mistake in that way. Many were headline "editorial" news in major newspapers and online news outlets.

Don't take it to heart and assume that everyone is talking about you. Your blog is fresh in people's minds, but the practice itself is so pervasive that it makes it annoying. Your blog alone wouldn't have been something that would have gotten under my skin if I hadn't seen it played out by pundits on TV and on several Goodle news links before I read it.
on Jun 25, 2005

These aren't the only examples there are, either. I'm all for the second amendment. I will vote down with a vengeance any attempt to take away people's guns. But why did Charlton Heston have to hold NRA rallies shortly after school shootings, in the cities that those shootings happened in? The communities were scarred and in mourning. Was that the best time to come in shouting about how you love guns? No.


You should do a little more research on this "before" you start laying blame. The NRA "had" planned to cancel the convention. But the Adam's Mark Hotel as well as the local populace asked them not to cancel.


NRA organizers were overwhelmed by the attendance. After the shootings, the group had cut back the meeting from three days to one, canceled drink-and-dinner festivities, removed billboard advertisements and jettisoned plans for a 170,000-square-foot hall where 350 gun makers and other exhibitors were to sell their wares.

The ballroom at the Adam's Mark Hotel had been set up to seat 2,600 people, but more than 4,000 showed up. The registration line snaking through the outer ballroom lobby held up the meeting for 25 minutes.




All that's left is a members' reception with Rep. J.C. Watts, R-Okla., and the annual meeting, set for 10 a.m. May 1 in the Colorado Convention Center.

Under its bylaws and New York state law, the NRA must hold an annual meeting.
on Jun 26, 2005
I have not heard of this. Can you give me more information?


The NRA held gun rallies in Columbine shortly after the school shootings, as well as in Flint, Michigan after a 6 year old girl was killed by a classmate who had brought a gun to school.

on Jun 26, 2005
You should do a little more research on this "before" you start laying blame. The NRA "had" planned to cancel the convention. But the Adam's Mark Hotel as well as the local populace asked them not to cancel.


I'm sure there were people who asked them to cancel, too. There will always be a number of people who, having been prepared to go to a convention or event that they strongly believe in, will prefer it to go on in the wake of a tragedy, perhaps in an attempt to get on with their lives. However, it is still utterly tactless to go somewhere that has just faced a school shooting to hold a large meeting about how much you love guns.

I'm sure there were people upset that Italy cancelled all sporting events on the day that John Paul II died, but it was certainly a respectful thing to do.

Even postponing the meeting would have made a world of difference.

NRA organizers were overwhelmed by the attendance. After the shootings, the group had cut back the meeting from three days to one, canceled drink-and-dinner festivities, removed billboard advertisements and jettisoned plans for a 170,000-square-foot hall where 350 gun makers and other exhibitors were to sell their wares.


This sounds like they had just planned to tone down their meeting, not cancel it.

Under its bylaws and New York state law, the NRA must hold an annual meeting.


This is kind of up there with prohibition and those obscure laws that say you can't feed a giraffe ice cream on a Saturday. Why would you make a law saying that a club has to have a meeting? What if it disbands someday? We'd all have to be arrested. Then again, none of us could be arrested, since there are no members of the club who didn't have the meeting...This isn't a shot at you, it just seems like kind of a stupid law.
on Jun 26, 2005
Under its bylaws and New York state law, the NRA must hold an annual meeting.


This is kind of up there with prohibition and those obscure laws that say you can't feed a giraffe ice cream on a Saturday. Why would you make a law saying that a club has to have a meeting? What if it disbands someday? We'd all have to be arrested. Then again, none of us could be arrested, since there are no members of the club who didn't have the meeting...This isn't a shot at you, it just seems like kind of a stupid law.


I dunno. Maybe we should ask the state of NY why. All I know is that if the NRA does not hold the meeting that NY state revokes their charter.
on Jul 22, 2005
Good article Phil. But I never did get why they cancelled that air show scheduled for September 12.