The Beer/Wine Dichotomy

Published on February 3, 2005 By philomedy In Misc

So this came to me in a sudden flurry of inspiration, and I feel rather like Einstein must have when finally, having known about E=M for five months, he discovered a C squared lying harmlessly under the sofa cushions. Anyways:

Why is it that I can stop by a liquor store after work (of course I wouldn't, being but a sprite young lad of 20, and college kids don't drink anyways) and buy a bottle of wine, finish it that night, and be lauded as being a sophisticate, but I can't go past the zinfandels to the Jack's and Jim Beam's with the plan of doing the same to them without being labeled a drunk?

Why is it that if I go to a bar and down 8 beers in an hour I'm an alcoholic, but if I take on 8 martinis (shaken, not stirred) after introducing myself as Bond, James Bond, I get to sleep with Denise Richards?

Am I wrong for being confused here?

Comments

Shovelheat

on Feb 03, 2005

I'll take the eight beers anyway, but remember, James Bond did get Pussy Galore too...

Suspeckted

on Feb 05, 2005

just mix it all up in a big pot and drink it with a straw and be labeled eccentric...chicks love that.

-suspeckted

PS - I don't recall "winos" as being regarded as sophisticates any time recently.

philomedy

on Feb 05, 2005

PS - I don't recall "winos" as being regarded as sophisticates any time recently.

Yeah, but I think "wino" is a term that has become synonymous with "drunk." However, you don't think drunken hick when you hear "somelier."

Suspeckted

on Feb 06, 2005

"somelier."

ya lost me, is that a kind of wine?

I usually drink my wine straight from the box...or in college, from a bottle with the name Boones' on it.

-Suspeckted

philomedy

on Feb 06, 2005

A somelier is a professional wine taster, that is, someone whose career actually is tasting wine and deciding what food it is to be paired with. So, a somelier's career is actually drinking. Repeatedly. Night after night. And they get to wear 3 piece suits and be respected while they do it.

TaBoo Tenente

on Feb 06, 2005

boones', oh yeah. nothing like drinking grape flavored wine.

the thing is, philomedy, every drink has its snobby variety , and its lowbrow cousin.

wine, of course, has created categories for snobs of every financial strata. us lowbrow boones' drinkers may think it's funny, but even among plunk varieties, pinots give the cold shoulder to merlots, cabernets sniff at pinots.

beer, too. the great thing about beer is that no beer bows to another. every beer takes pride in itself. you can make a case for the pabst tallie or a warm mug of guiness. even the "easy sippin'" OE believes in his own righteousness. and they all want to brawl with each other. solidarity be damned.

the problem with booze is that it takes a great booze snob to specialize. sure, a martini may seem elegant, but even 007 cant throw down too many or he'll wake up with a bad guy sporting gold for fingers trying to saw off his bits and pieces. scotch and cognac drinkers may feel superior to the "you and me" variety of booze drinkers, but they have to be really rich to make a night of that stuff.

we just need to take pride in ordering the 50 cent railers or sharing a pitcher of the MUD. and always smile at someone who buys you a drink, regardless of the variety.

tbt

kingbee

on Feb 06, 2005

long as we're talkin in vino veritas here, consider the following samplings:

pinklady 21 (a fortified boutique, vinted somewhere in ny state i believe)--"the ace and queen of wines" according to its label.

md-20/20 (or mad dog twenny-twenny as some someliers are wont to present it)--"the methadone of wines"

richard's wild irish bottlings (rose, peach and 'i forget')--while the rose (perhaps rose' ? nawwww) may have a valid claim to "the nyquil of wines". its amber-hued cousin, peach is most certainly "the wine of nyquils"

philomedy

on Feb 06, 2005

Let us not forget Stu Pedasso's own blend, coming at us from Sonoma Beach. Check him out at www.stupedasso.com.

kingbee

on Feb 06, 2005

Check him out at www.stupedasso.com

i tried. someone musta alerted stu. i got one of these.

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ill wait for an adult to show up and see if i can get him or her to buy for me.

philomedy

on Feb 06, 2005

Yeah, I don't get it. It's been giving me that message all day too.

Suspeckted

on Feb 07, 2005

beer, too. the great thing about beer is that no beer bows to another. every beer takes pride in itself. you can make a case for the pabst tallie or a warm mug of guiness. even the "easy sippin'" OE believes in his own righteousness. and they all want to brawl with each other. solidarity be damned.

I admit that I'm a bit of a beer snob, but a responsible beer snob. I really try to buy local. Local microbrews are usually cheaper and better than most nationally distributed"top shelf" beers. In MN Summit makes some great beer as does James Page among a few others. Anyone near Boston ever had the Harpoon Ales, god I loved that stuff.

A somelier is a professional wine taster, that is, someone whose career actually is tasting wine and deciding what food it is to be paired with.

Well, then I definitely learned something today...good for that guy/girl...whoever they are. Weird though, do I really want wine advice from someone who drinks it everyday. It's likely that their tolerance for poorer quality is way snootier than mine so I might really enjoy something they wouldn't...like a big jug of Carlo Rossi ha ha!

Lurkerer

on Feb 11, 2005

scotch and cognac drinkers may feel superior to the "you and me" variety of booze drinkers, but they have to be really rich to make a night of that stuff.

I was just gonna say that it could be related to money too. I mean labeling people it's what this society does, and depending on how you look, what you buy, and how much of it you drink, you are labeled a drunk. Your place in society matters as well, even if you do have martinis or beer. Drunks want to drink more, so they buy cheap stuff. Drunks are usually poor so that goes with it too. Rich drunks, however, are "alcoholics." ...'Til further notice, that is 'cause supposedly they try to sober up so they don't ruin their image.

Suspeckted

on Feb 11, 2005

Where I'm headed next weekend

www.schellsbrewery.com

Such a beer snob!
-Suspeckted

philomedy

on Feb 11, 2005

Hmm...beer and elves...that can only end well...

kingbee

on Feb 11, 2005

beer and elves...that can only end well

and that goes double (if not triple) when one mistakes gnomes for elves.

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