I don't know, can you?
Published on January 14, 2005 By philomedy In Misc
I learned something sitting in class today. Not one of those factual things that you're supposed to learn in class, but something of an epiphany that had been waiting to hit me from the time I was in elementary school.

Do you remember when you were in grades 1-4, and every time you felt nature calling, you would raise your hand and politely say "Can I go to the bathroom?"

And do you remember the response from the teacher coming back as "I don't know, can you?"

And do you remember that this would be the same response until the you said "May I go to the bathroom?"

There was no hinting, no correcting, no real verbal connection between the phrase "I don't know, can you?" and the word "may." Really, its akin to someone saying "The television is on" and expecting this to trigger the response "cheese puffs."

Does this repetitive line of questioning seem more like torture than gentle correction to anyone? I know that I, personally, do not want to think about it when I need to go have a release. And anyways, "Can I go to the bathroom" is a valid verbal question when the person you are asking literally controls wether or not you can go to the bathroom; It just isn't deferential. Seems like teachers on power trips, really.

And that goes for "What's the magic word?" too. In my experience, a magician has never said "please" and made the woman reappear. Ali Baba didn't say "Open Please." There is nothing magic about it. If I ask "What's the colorful word?" you would not say "table."

That's just what I think.

Comments
on Jan 14, 2005
No, you must sit there until you wet yourself, happy?
on Jan 14, 2005
"No, you must sit there until you wet yourself, happy?"

The proper reply is:
"No, you MAY sit there until you wet yourself."
on Jan 14, 2005
No, you must sit there until you wet yourself, happy?


In 6th grade, I became infamous at my school for doing just that. The teacher thought I was just trying to get out of class (which from my sparse attendance wasn't exactly out of the question for me. ;~D), so he anwered the "can I" question with "you can hold it until after class".

I often wondered if anyone in his class ever got any answer from him other than, "Hurry!" after that!!!! ;~D
on Jan 14, 2005
In 6th grade, I became infamous at my school for doing just that.


I always wondered if it ever got to the point where somebody actually wet themselves. And that's quite the risk in 6th grade, what with middle school reputations and all...
on Jan 14, 2005
The can and may thing, however, while silly (I remember it being used on me once) is valid because you're asking permission to excuse yourself to go to the restroom, not whether you're capable of it.


I would argue that "Can I go to the bathroom?" is a valid verbal question, completely dependent on the social context that contains it. In this case, the word "can" gives the phrase 2 meanings: "Are you physically capable of passing urine/stool," but since the teacher literally can deny you permission to go to the bathroom, it also means "is it acceptable for you to go" (or will you be given permission to go).

The same can be said for the polite version, "may I." The two possible meanings that "may" gives to the question are "do I have permission to go," but it can also mean "will I decide to go."

The deciding factor here, as I mentioned, is the accepted social context. Every teacher knows what the child means when the "can" version of the question is asked. It seems that by making the child wait until they say "may," it is just the teacher wanting to confirm the fact that the child defers to them. The thing is, just the fact that the child has to ask permission defines this deference.

It just seems pretty egotistical to me.