Like the Darwins, but just stupid
Published on March 18, 2005 By philomedy In Current Events
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Alright, in the great tradition of the Golden Globes, the Emmys, the Oscars, the People's Choice, and Tony Awards, I would like to present the first installation of my personal award system...the Stupids. I will dispense these awards whenever I see fit, whenever I see someone that shatters my faith and makes me think that the dolphins are one step closer to becoming the dominant species on this Earth.

Today's award goes to Phil Dederer, who has sued the Roads and Traffic Authority in England because he dove off a bridge and paralyzed himself. Mr. Dederer shares the award with Justice John Dunford, who awarded Mr. Dederer over a million dollars because the "NO DIVING" signs on the bridge failed to say that diving from the bridge was dangerous.

Let's examine this a bit closer. The "NO DIVING" signs failed to say that diving was dangerous. I hate to think what this man must do to himself on a daily basis. What about "STEEP CLIFF" signs? Those don't even say not to jump. What about "SHARP CURVE" signs? Those don't even say to slow down. What about the "sharp curve" sign with no words, just the nice squiggly line? Those must give him trouble.

And the justice. I can't say enough about this justice. The article says that he ruled in Mr. Dederer's favor because he was convinced the signs were inadequate, because people continued to jump off the bridge. IT'S A SIGN!!! It cannot grow arms and catch the people as they hurl themselves through the air. Unless you're going to post authorities at the bridge to prevent this, the sign is doing all it can. Warning signs don't make up for people's stupidity. People smoke. People enter sharp curves going 60 MPH. This is not the fault of the authorities, or of the signs they put there.

Somewhere, personal responsibility is hanging itself.

Comments
on Mar 18, 2005
Yay! I look forward to the series.
on Mar 18, 2005

Someone has one for the US already.  It is called the Stella awards.  They have some real beuts there!

It is named for the woman who spilled coffe in her lap, sued MacDonalds and won!

on Mar 19, 2005
I need to find ways to sue people or businesses for stupid things I do, damn it. I am losing so much by not being stupid.
on Mar 19, 2005

I need to find ways to sue people or businesses for stupid things I do, damn it. I am losing so much by not being stupid.

An unfortunate side effect of intelligence.  Sorry.